Hyderabad to New York

On my return from India on 14 March, after few hours of sleeping on the flight, I started feeling little down and started analyzing my emotional disturbance and started penning my thoughts at that time …

unnuPrati feeling like I left a part of me in Hyderabad and started missing it. I know the best part of me lies in New York but I still yearn for the missing part. New York and Hyderabad are the two places very close to my heart – Hyderabad more for people and their unconditional love but New York, besides people I have a strong affliction with the place it self – the place where I met my soul mate and where we have shared many beautiful moments and I could still feel the warmth of his love for me; saw many hills and valleys  in life;

 

 

and the way New York embraces me and gave me enough sIloveny.pngtrength to battle the loneliness and showed the righteous path and making me a better person day after day after my husband passed away 10 years ago; it extracts some of the imbibed qualities in me and made me a stronger person. I know besides New York, my beloved parents, my husband and Baba are helping me to achieve many things which have been mere dreams in the past; to pull me and provide strength when I become weak and fall on my knees; to recreate my life in a way which I never thought exist.
When I am writing this, I could feel a lump in my throat and tears are just rolling down …

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Aging gracefully

amalaLast week, when I heard of Sri Devi’s untimely departure from this world, and hearing different stories about it, the first thing that came to my mind was ‘Aging Gracefully’ with Amala Akkineni’s signature on it. and I have been thinking about Amala a lot – how she molds her life by embracing and engulfing in the things she is passionate about without compromising despite being a celebrity and part of an iconic celebrity family. I am sure there are many women who have written their beautiful signatures on their dreams and many more on their way …

and few days later, I saw Amala’s post on Facebook with the same title where she has poignantly poured out het heartfelt emotions about women in general and about women in limelight more specifically.

Will you let me age gracefully?

Will you let me age gracefully without needing to comment on how tired I look or the weight I have gained?
The shadows under my eyes are from reading glass lines and freckles change to age spots everyday.

Will you let me dress without feeling low self esteem that I am not size zero anymore, nor that I wear the season’s couture?
A washed handloom engulfs me providing market to the looms, comfortably accommodating menopause.

Will you let me stop colouring my hair, let me wear it short, without referring to my long tresses in Pushpak, at 19?
The bad hair days get captured, not the wisdom I carry, and that’s demoralizing. Surely cameras can show the depth of a person and not just the surface?

Will you let me discuss meaningful things without interrupting the flow with questions on how I cook or what the season’s latest gossip demands?
My inner being thrives on accomplishing things that make a difference, things I seek to complete before my physical form is put to rest.

Will you let me walk through my day with peace and calm without the endless messages to attend events teeming with emptiness?
I need to complete life’s mission, but I can’t if my head spins in endless carousels, important to you, no doubt.

Will you free me of the box office madness, the TRP wars, Page 3, the likes, the comments, the traps that menacingly surround everything we do?
You have caught me in a time warp, a cage of fame, while my spirit is free.
Allow me a life, some privacy, to engage with humanity and the universe, with purpose, truth, compassion and some respect for those now gone.

Amala Akkineni