SHI-VA that which is not

Shi-va is, but Shi-va is not something 🙏


To Sadhguru:
This is what I should have said if I had spoken when you had Sathsang at Kathmandu with S1 group- returning from Kailash Yatra on 14th August.
It was such a great honor and privilege to sit before you, listen to you and talk to you. I should have opened my heart but then i decided not to as it was my very own experience I could narrate but not in a position to give any advice to any one – experience that is very personal and precious for me – those two days – two processes at Manasa Sarovar and Kailash – the moments to live for and the moments to die for 🙏
as a typical New Yorker,  I daily walk 5 to 6 miles very easily. I have a little pride in that but a conscious pride. When I came to this Yatra – I did not wear that pride, I know that there is an altitude parameter involved in it but I have faith in the God I trust that He would not leave my hand on any day but after you (Sadhguru) came into my life – of course you have come into my life in a constipated way but after I got Shambhavi initiated by you at Philadelphia in May 2018, you are happening to me in a more conscious way – your saying resonates in my ears and in my heart – “do not think of what is possible and what is not possible” – align all four energies – physical, mental, emotional and life energies – and you could get whatever you want – this is the advice if I may, I would give it to anyone – and this is how I got into S1 group – initially started with S8 and then big NO for this year and finally into S1 – I have gone through all these stages with in hours to few days – do not think of what is possible and what is not possible …

Kailash was never in my list – for that matter I do not have a list – then Where is Shiva coming into my life from  – SHI-VA – Is that which is not; is no-thing – I was not seeking for a guru at all – where is Sadhguru coming into my life  – completely encroaching upon my life – I am not a very religious person – to be more specific not a very ritualistic person – I do my karma yoga – very consciously for the past 10 years – a registered New York Cares volunteer since my husband has left this physical world – teach math and English to adults of various age groups and SAT students – almost 4 days of the week after my working hours and during Spring, summer and fall months on Saturdays  urban farming and parks revitalization projects, some times involved with handicapped kids playing basket ball – initially when I started 10 years ago I thought I would be helping them but in the process I have realized that they help me to be a better person every day.

There was a questionnaire I was answering at Kathmandu before we had Sathsang with you – one question – why you choose ISHA ? I have answered with all HUMILITY that ISHA has chosen me as I had many questions – why ISHA ? Why Sadhguru ? Why SHI-VA ? WHY KAILASH? Where is my life leading to … many questions  – I got the answer in a very clear way – when I felt very sick at Kailash – badly hit by altitude sickness – I thought that it could be my last day / Sadhguru came before me clasping his hands in an intense prayer told me that he would not allow me to die – it would be a rebirth to me with a different mission – as Sadhguru mentioned if we feel the energies at Kailash for at least few moments, our lives would be benefitted immensely wonderful, I hope my life would blossom in such way to bring bliss to me and to people around me.

As I have travelled alone, during my sickness, loneliness and many humiliating moments I had faced or experienced during this trip,  I had to cling on to Sadhguru and SHI-VA to become more stronger …
– i do not know whether I had left anything in Kailash but  I had brought a  big chunk of Kailash and Sadhguru with me to lead the rest of my life giving more profound meaning to life 🙏FF27ACD7-4850-40D0-81C0-F6E4DC30BB36.jpeg

The profound effect of inner engineering and Sadhguru upon me

sadhguruIt is a very long story – I start with Sadhguru- it may be in 2011 or 2012, Muni Krishna garu mentioned to me about Sadhguru and he offered some books if I am interested to read. I am not a reader at all – I was reading Telugu novels, weekly and monthly magazine serials during my school and college days but once after I came to US in 1980, some how i slowly stopped reading may be because of the unavailability of the magazines. So with a subtle smile I got over his kind offer.

ishanaAfter I came back home, I was watching Telugu pop singer Smitha’s interview on YouTube on the eve of the release of her new album Ishana – where she talked about her inner engineering experience and what a profound effect it had on her and how it changed her life – I was quite amazed how anything or any one could change someone’s life in 4 days. The curiosity or inquisitiveness in me provoked me to check for inner engineering programs in US and I found one with Sadhguru at ISHA center Nashville, Tennessee. I checked with them whether they could provide me with any accommodation, and they said no, I did not want to be on my own in an unknown terrain and dropped that idea. But I bought Ishana album on iTunes immediately and I have listened to it very intensely for so long.
sadhguru at UN 2In 2016, Sadhguru addressed United Nations on the first International day of Yoga. So we attended the event and it was in the open space on the East Side of the building near the fountain around mid day, Since it was in the afternoon., he made us practice Upa Yoga which can be done at any time of the day. So I was like 10 to 20 feet away from

sadhguru at UN

him. That was my first ever personal met up with Sadhguru. Since then hearing Sadhguru for a few min here and there or reading his quotes and saving those which touched my inner core. Then I heard his full speech live when he addressed from Isha center Tennessee on the eve of new year 2017 where I wax awestruck to listen and to understand his expression “be greedy in an unlimited way” – including the whole universe in youwhat a magnificent thought.

In 2017, during my usual India visit in Feb, on Maha Sivarathri day, Adi yogi consecration happened at Isha center at Coimbatore and it was telecasted live on TV and the whole family was watching in the family room and I was getting glimpses of it here and there and after certain time everyone settled in their own rooms and watched it past midnight. The next day morning when I woke up and opened Facebook and awestruck to see the gigantic, the most beautiful Adi Yogi consecrated and I could not turn away my eyes from his beauty, magnanimity, exuberance, and equanimity.

In 2018, the same episode – I did not watch live broadcast from Isha Coimbatore on Maha Sivarathri. I returned from India on 14th March and Sadhguru was addressing on water issues at UN on World Water Day on 22 March with small plenary group of ECOSOC and I wanted to attend the event but it was a snow storm day and I telecommuted butI should have gone as I live a block away from UN. I would regret and not regret at the same time for missing the event. That experience of meeting him with out Shambhavi initiation by him would be totally meaningless compared to the out of the world experience after Shambhavi initiation with him; what I have been going through for the past 3 months, I’ll keep my entire life in his hands with out any inhibitions.

So two days after I came from India in March this year, I was having coffee with Sekhar in Dunkin Donuts, suddenly I asked him whether we should register for inner engineering with Sadhguru in Philadelphia which is on 5th and 6th May. Without taking a moment he nodded positively. Within 2 days we have registered for the event.
So I would /should say Sadhguru came into my life in a constipated 😜way – by bits and pieces – he uses this word a lot in his  discourses😊
I was burst into tears when he talked about motherly love – listening to him when our eyes were closed – willingness to be a mother to one child – 10 children, 100, 10000,  1 million, 10 million, 100 million. And ultimately to the whole universe with out thinking of the physicalities/practicalities. It really touched the right chord with his soothing voice and I bursted into tears. I was in ecstasy. Then we were asked to be very silent for a while – not to get out of that mood / no eye contact no signs no talking with anyone. Then we got Shambhavi initiation – a few breathing exercises (our eyes are closed through out the process) consecrated by his life energies takes me to another world and I felt like he is talking standing in front of me and I was in tears the whole 21 min. Second time Shambhavi in the evening again in his presence, I was really moved by the whole experience.
We were supposed to practice Shambhavi twice a day for 40 days and once for six months after. I did not waste a day and started my Shambhavi from the following day. I did not wait for the first Sathsang which happens on the second Saturday at New York center. I got few of my corrections while I am doing my Shambhavi by none other than my guru. Initially I thought I was moved to tears while practicing Shambhavi at Phily as I was doing in Sadhguru’s presence but it continues to be the same even I was doing at home. Quickly I have noticed lot of subtle changes in my thought process, reacting to events in every day of life, more inclusiveness than I naturally possess.
Since inner Engineering, I was glued to Sadhguru’s videos / passionate to listen to him, stopped watching what ever I watch on TV 😊🤗
When we were at inner engineering, we were shown a video of Kailash Yatra with Sadhguru and it touched me very deeply.
So the Monday after inner Engineering, I have opened my FB, and it asked me what is on your mind Sarada – I immediately posted the following
“What’s on your mind, Sarada” FB is asking.
I would say #KailashYatra with Sadhguru; Inner Engineering course has a profound affect on me, every atom and molecule in me is longing for #KailashYatra; feeling highly emotional; whether I can do it with my knee issues🤔 ; but then remembering Sadhguru’s sayings – do not think of what is possible and what is not possible 🙏
This saying got sunk in me very deeply and apply for everything in my daily life / I swear it works like magic.

So I immediately checked Isha Sacred Walks and there are 9 groups for people living in abroad S1 to S9, and 9 groups for people living in India, they open up these registrations in December of the previous year for the sacred walks to begin on 31 July and all the tours start one day after another and finish by mid September.
I guess I am eligible for S3 and S8 and all the groups up to S8 were full, S8 was almost full, so I immediately filled out the application and I was given an application number and I was asked to go through some medical tests, so I tried to fill up my profile as far as I could. I was almost ready but two factors were pulling me back – one is my sister who does not want me to take any risk and the other one is Unnu / she got admission to MBA at Babson and her orientation is from 20 August to 23 August – I guess S8 to be started on 27th or 28th August and I should be in Delhi 4 days before to get my Tibet group visa. So I was in a dilemma but unnu and Prati told me it was absolutely ok as I wanted to do this yatra very passionately.  And the month of May was quite hectic for me as I have been traveling during weekends and another niece with her daughter from India visited me on 20th May and we all had a get together at Prashanthi’s place for the long weekend to celebrate Shakti Babu’s birthday. In the meantime I finished my medical tests and I have all the reports ready from my doctor too. So Tuesday morning, I logged into my profile and I was ready to pay and the payment was not going through, so I sent them an email and came home for lunch and when I went back to office and opened mail from Isha Sacred Walks, to my disappointment I was told that the group was closed and I had to wait until next year and the registration opens up in December, If I hadn’t had inner Engineering, My thought process would be very different since I believe everything happens for our own good; may be I am not in a position to undertake this financially, physically and mentally or for whatever reason. It is not my state of mind after IE, and Sadhguru’s saying resonating in my ears – do not think of what is possible and what is not possible – listening to Sadhguru’s video (as I was at work) –

Sadhguru How To Get What You Want Best Motivational Speech

the essence of that discourse is “get what ever you want by aligning all these four energies – physical energies, mental energies, emotional energies and life energies” I really do not know how to distinguish those energies, but my focus is on going to Kailash this year only and kept on sending emails to Isha Sacred Walks group coming up with excuses that I have been waiting for medical and I got all done and I have reports from my doctor too, then they asked me to send the reports and said that they would place me on the waitlist – something positive from big NO and next year to waitlist this year – I sent them the medical reports and kept on listening to his video, ( it is a 20 min to 30 min video clip) then around 5 pm, I received an email from them informing me that they would put me with S9 (it is a Russian group 😜) anything is ok with me at that moment, the only question I asked them whether there would be anyone from ISHA who speaks English. The next day they have assigned me a new registration number and I have paid, this happened on Wednesday. Either Thursday or Friday, I have received another email from them asking me whether I would be interested to go with an earlier group as there was a cancellation but those dates do not suit me well with Unnu’s orientation and everything. So I clearly explained them the genuine reason of not able to accept their offer and informed them if if were S1, S3 or S8, it would be fine, if it were S1 (which is from 31 July to 14 th August) that would be awesome. Saturday morning I was going to Brooklyn for my New York Cares urban farming project and Sneha was with me and I was explaining her everything that happened from Tuesday to Friday and we both felt it would be awesome if I could get into S1. I came home from the project around 1:30 pm and along with my nieces I went to my sister’s place. While I was on train, I causally opened my mail ( I haven’t done it until then since the midnight), to my surprise and astonishment, there was a mail from ISHA sacred walks that they had an opening in S1 and they put me in. My joy knew no bounds – from a Big NO, try next year to the very group that is comfortable to me in every possible way
“do not think of what is possible and what is not possible” the key mantra 🙏
I am very much mesmerized by Sadhguru by his mystic teachings, his compassionate and powerful and soothing voice ( everyone has to get attracted to it) and the vastness of his knowledge, he just can have discourse on any aspect, his speech flows like a river, never takes a word back, his logical approach to life …
He never preaches, he does not ask you to perform any religious rituals
He asks us to do everything consciously not compulsively 🙏
How I can not bow to Him 🙏
isha volunteerSo I became a proud ISHA volunteer for a 4 day teacher led inner engineering program in New York from 28 June to 1 July – so much humbled and blessed to celebrate my 60th birthday at inner Engineering at ISHA New York center. I always envy ISHA volunteers for their impeccable teamwork, commitment, dedication, involvement. Finally became one 🤗 truly blessed 🙏 became part of ISHA Family #willingness is the key to#Volunteerism –

The question is not about the volume of what you do; the willingness with which you breathe, and walk and live, that makes you a volunteer.” – Sadhguru 

If you are a 24-hour volunteer wherever you are, you always have a very powerful space around you. – Sadhguru

At the IE program where I volunteered during my birthday weekend, the same experience again when Sadhguru was talking about our acceptance to become an Universal Mother – My left hand palm up which was placed on my thigh trembling when I was soaked in tears with my eyes closed while Sadhguru speaking about being a mother to the universe. It was a very emotional moment for me.
The next day while I was doing my Shambhavi, the last part is closing eyes and watching breath and I asked him take me anywhere he wants to and he asked me would I want to be mother for 1 million children (he gave me a big number, I do not remember it exactly, so I gave a random number) – Mother to Universe – what an honor 🙏
Many more in my next blog articles …