Good Bye 2013…..

I am really very glad and looking forward to end this year. This has been the worst year for every member of our family. I lost two brothers and a brother-in-law in a time span of 4 months. I really do not know from where I got the strength to stay as a pillar of support to the family. For me personally, the most devastating year was 2008 when I lost my husband and none was there for me to hold on to. That year was a testing period for me from Baba, and of course He and my husband and my parents (none of them are with me physically, but only with the spirits) helped me to pull through the horrendous phase of my life and they all helped me to guide my life in the right direction. There was not a single day in that year I haven’t cried. Somedays I went crazy, and just stepped out of the apartment walking miles and miles in Manhattan listening to songs and even crying sometimes, even if it is late evenings also. I regained all the strength and support from my sorrow only.

My husband and I walked a lot in Manhattan. I have so many fond places in New York City, where we used to sit, have our coffees, did our shoppings. My husband loved to drink coffee in small cafes, diners etc., and have a pastry. Since we did not have kids, we both lived our lives for each other and enjoyed and relished every simple moments of life. we both loved watching Tennis. He is the one who actually taught me all the rules of the game and the first year I watched and learned about Tennis was 1987, that is the reason I love and adore Steffi Graf. We used to have croissants and coffee for ‘Breakfast at Wimbledon’ with out a miss.

Within one month of my husband’s demise, I joined New York Cares organization (volunteer organization) and signed up for various projects and finally settled down with teaching Math and English to GED students – 2 hours from Monday through Thursday evenings after finishing my work. I have been doing this for the last 6 years.

But this year is a huge curse to our family as we lost three members one after the other in four months. Life has become very uncertain. I can not even plan/count on the next moment. I am very scared. Not scared because something would happen to me, but scared because I do not have any strength left to face any more. I have been staying at my sister’s place since the day my brother-in-law passed away on 5 November. I am commuting to work from my sister’s house and since I live very close – 5 minutes walking from my work, I have been going to my apartment during lunch time everyday. I do not know how long I would continue to do this, but I am very afraid to leave my sister. I am sure she and her son, Karthi would get all the strength from my brother-in-law and my only prayer to Baba and to my brother-in-law is to protect them.

I am just hoping and praying that 2014 would be brighter and happier for all our family members ….

My only request to everyone …

Do Celebrate Life With Loved Ones.. For Not Even Our Next Breath Is Certain! _/!\_ for #HAPPINESS !

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